-image-Funny Drunk Joke

May 27th, 2007


A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual.

The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 3 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.

He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” He asks as he puts on an innocent look. “The bar called, you left your wheelchair there again.”




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-image-Insensitive Woman - Funny Joke

May 23rd, 2007

Dave returned from a doctor’s visit one day and told his wife Doreen that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Dave went to her again, and said, “Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?” Doreen agreed and again they made love.

Later, Dave was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Doreen’s shoulder and said, “Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.” She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.

Dave, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. “Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we…?”

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, “Listen Dave, I have to get up in the morning! You don’t.”




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-image-Funny Golf Joke

May 12th, 2007

I was down in Orange County doing some training, and was really busy this last week. But now I’m back, and I should be posting more now. :smile_tb:

Have a Tasty weekend!

Jay




Golf Joke

John got home from his usual Sunday round of golf slightly later than normal and very tired. “Bad day at the course?” his wife asked.

“Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee.”

“Oh, that’s awful!”

“You’re not kidding. For the whole last nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.”




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-image-Getting a Promotion

May 6th, 2007

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

“What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi.

“Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignor’s job.” replied the Priest.

“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.

“Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop.” said the Priest.

“Yes, and then?” asked the Rabbi.

“If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it’s possible for me to become a full Bishop.” said the Priest.

“O.K., then what?” asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, “With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal.”

“And then?” asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, “With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I’m in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope.”

“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.

“Good grief!” shouted the Priest. “What do you expect me to become, GOD?”

“Well,” said the Rabbi, “One of our boys made it!”



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-image-You Have One Wish

April 23rd, 2007

This joke cracked me up. Had to post it.

Have a Tasty Day!

Jay



A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genies lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.

The Genie said, “Nope … due to economic inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So … what’ll it be?”

The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Wow, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but im not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That’s what I wish for, a good mate.”

The Genie let out a long hard sigh and said, “Let me see that fucking map!”




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-image-Milk or Beer?

April 21st, 2007

Had milk, want beer.. That sounds great to me. Can’t go wrong with beer. In fact I think I’m gonna have a few of them as soon as I finish this post. :drunk_tb:



Dog Had Milk Want Beer Funny Humor Pictures

Speaking of drinking some beer… Check out this guy. hahaha too funny.


Party Beer Shots Drink Drunk Pictures


It looks like it may be too much work thou after you been drinking for a while. May want to switch out the beer to some hard liquor. Hennessy Cognac perhaps? Thats what I would do. I love beer, but when it comes to hard liquor, Hennessey is my number one choice.


Whats your favorite drink?



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-image-A Pink Ferrari?

April 20th, 2007

I can’t believe someone would do this to a Ferrari. It’s beyond me… A pink Ferrari? That is soo wrong.



Hello Kitty Pink Ferrari



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-image-Wifey in Alaska

April 19th, 2007

A couple decided go to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my thighs to warm them.

So he did and went back outside to finish chopping wood. He came in after another 5 minutes and said ” honey my hands are cold again”. So she tells him here put your hands between my thighs to warm them.

So he did and then he went back out to chop some more wood. 5 minutes has passed and he went in again and said, “honey my hands are cold again”.

She then said, ” Damn don’t your ears ever get cold?”




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-image-Nice Beer Holder Babe

April 16th, 2007

This sexy babe in a bikini makes a nice beer cup holder. :devil_tb:

Have a Tasty Monday!

Jay



Beer Cup Holder Sexy Babe Bikini G-strings Thongs



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-image-Linux is Going to the Indy 500!!!

April 10th, 2007

Woohooo! This would be great. I would love to see a Linux sponsored car in the Indy 500.
Check out the full article at Tux500.com and donate some money if you can to make this happen! :thumbup_tb:



IRL INDY 500 Linux Car



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