Redneck Computer Terminology
Here’s a Redneck’s Guide to Computer Lingo from Master Foley. Thank you!
LOG ON: making da wood stove hotter
LOG OFF: don’t add no more wood
MONITOR: keep an eye on da wood stove
MEGAHERTZ: when da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning
FLOPPY DISK: what you get from piling too much wood
RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da woodsplitter work
HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da winter
PROMPT: what ya wish da mail was during da snow season
ENTER: come on in
WINDOWS: what ya shut when it gets below zero
SCREEN: what you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season
CHIP: what ya munch during football games
MICROCHIP: what’s left in da bag when da chips are gone
MODEM: what ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix’s wife
LAPTOP: where da grandkids sit
KEYBOARD: where ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em
SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
MOUSE: what leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof
PORT: where da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats
DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: when ya can’t remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle when da wife asks about it
