Hell Explained By Chemistry Student
This is a bit wordy, but worth reading!!!!!!!
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so “profound” that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First! , we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proport! ionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which expl! ains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting “Oh my God.”
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”
